When I was a girl I wrote silly love songs
I now regret
That favorably compared me and the boys I liked
to Romeo and Juliet
But now I'm older and now I'm wiser
and now I recognize
What real, functional relationships look like
So it should come to no surprise that

I want you to be the Harry to my Sally
Can you be the Zoe to my Wash
We could be like Han and Leia
'Cause I know you love me
Like Willow loved her Oz
(I will fight you)
Be the Phroso to my Venus
Or the Westley to my Buttercup
We could spar like Benedick and Beatrice
I know we'd never get enough
If we had fictional love

Pour me a gin and tonic
and I'll be the Nora to your Nick
You could be Scott Pilgrim to my Ramona Flowers
if I grew my hair like this
And if either of us had to die
Tragically or otherwise
I'd rather be your Hazel Grace
or your Angel Dumott Schunard
You could be the Zero Cool to my Acid Burn
Or the Ron to my Hermione
We could spar like Lizzie and Mr. Darcy
You know just how it would be
If we had fictional love

I don't want a fairy tale
or a tragic love that ends in tears
Don't lead me on like Aragorn
Just be my Faramir
We could ride your scooter through Monmartre
Like Nino and Amelie
Or dance across the rooftops
If you'd be the Bert to my Mary
You could be the Phroso to my Venus
Or the Westley to my Buttercup
We could spar like Benedick and Beatrice
I know we'd never get enough
If we had fictional love

Oh you could be the
Jack to my Sally
or the Gomez to my Morticia
or the Strider to my Sai
or the Chase to my Gert
Or the Stephen to my Bang Bang
or the Booga to my Tank Girl
Or you could be my Little Prince
and I could be your rose